Untitled.

I just came in from a long lunch with one of our favourite clients.  It was lovely.  I'm a bit tired today and highly "sensitive" because well, it's the beginning of new things for me.  This blog post is untitled because I can't find a title for the whirlwind of emotions that I've gone through this week.  Up until the past Monday, all I felt was joy and exhilaration at the thought of me finally putting away my black clothes, looking forward to introducing moderate amounts of colour into my wardrobe but most importantly, hanging up my PR Intern gloves.  As I said goodbye to our client and she asked me what it is I wanted to do or was going to do - I realised that I had no idea.


The fact that I don't have a job yet does contribute to my not knowing whether I'm coming or going after this, but I've also realised that I am quite a complex soul (yes friends, family and boyfriend - I admit).  A big part of me wants to work, make money (to achieve those dreams, yes the one's I mentioned before - wink)  but a huge part of me wants to be able to work and use my God-given talents which will make work ten times less hectic and be just a way to make money doing what I love doing.  But those type of things happen in the movies don't they? I'm so unmotivated at the moment, that sitting home and doing nothing for a year seems like a great option for me.  In fact let me start over, using the word "unmotivated" is not good because I'm highly motivated just very confused.  The break I am about to take couldn't have come at a better time and boy am I grateful for it.

This way I will work towards finding exactly what I plan to do to achieve my dreams.  I might be relaxed physically but my brain has mental marathons of how I'm going to get my Mini Cooper S next year, a house two years after that, furniture in between all of that, a gorgeous closet while achieving all of that and still be happy and satisfied with what I do.  Then there are more dreams to be realised.  Having another qualification, being a member of parliament and owning my own entertainment company.  And even though I can't put time-limits or expectations - I still do.  All of the above should be achieved in the next seven years.  I know -ridiculous, not.

They (I've always wondered who 'they' are - would love to meet them) say the first step in change is realising that there is a problem, well I say the first step in achieving your dreams is having them.

My road is all mapped out now, I must just get a good pair of  takkies (any excuse to shop) and run it.

Yours Sincerely... My heart

I'm done clearing up my desk.  It's all ready for the next PR Intern who will "make their mark" at this place.  I've been quite emotional today, whether its because a long, tiresome journey has come to an end or I am simply PMSing, I don't know.  All I know is that I've been balling like a baby this whole morning - well I know the major reason but the minor one is only a mystery.  Throughout my 8 blogs posts, I have not mentioned the people close to me who are special additions to my already colourful life.  The reason being, I did not want to offend any of them by pasting their names on the Internet for anyone to access - they all have Facebook so already their names are on the Internet - anyway!  I've got a circle or rather a square of girlfriends which I have known for more than 10 years, others less, whom I share most things with.  Then of course I have family, a Mom and a Dad, a brother and two sisters AND I am an aunt to 2 nieces and a nephew *so proud*.  I also then have people I refer to as "my boys" well because they are my boys.  And then I have - I don't know what to call him without sounding corny - so I'll just stick to -  my boyfriend.

Everyone I've mentioned or forgot (sorry) is an integral part of my life.  They've helped mould the sassy lady I am today and I have learnt loads from each of them.  Being a very sociable person, I thank God I have so many people around me, He knows I would die if I was lonely.  At this point in time, if I was reading this blog (not be the author) I would be curious about the boyfriend, so just in case you are, let me try and use words to describe err, our err, companionship (really for lack of a better word - I don't want to sound corny remember ;) ).   My relationship is nine months old and as I always say (to myself) if it were a baby, it would be due this month.  And its been unreal, unbelievable, beautiful, magnificent, lovely, joyous - *sigh* I said I couldn't describe it in words *sigh again*.  A few moments ago I mentioned that I know the major reason behind my tears this morning - and it is the state of euphoria I am in.  I am humbled by the fact that I am living things that I thought only happened in the movies.  I've always known that I am somewhat lovable and deserve love but you know when you only guess how something would feel?  Well that's exactly how it was.  I guessed that being in love meant a,b or c or when someone loves you, you'd feel like 1,2 or 3.

My guesses could NEVER come close to the way it REALLY is (guess that's why their called guesses - there I go guessing again - lol).  Anyway, right now I do not mind dying because I lived or am living my purpose - to love and be loved. I might be, okay no, I am a lover of the finest things in life but I am someone, if it were possible, would only live off the love and its inherent qualities but -  a girl's gotta eat and of course shop.  So the way things are on Earth I will never change, in the same breath, Earthly things will never change the "things" in my heart.  I am usually quite concise in my writing, but upon skimming through what I've written, it doesn't make sense.  And this is because the melodies of the heart do not make sense to the mind, they are better understood by other hearts (WOW! I said that? I'm really corny now) - oh well.

With that said, my hearts' melody plays on... and the heart which understands it - sings along.
Now I understand why these feelings are described as three words - you honestly can't find more!


I. Love. You.

That's all.

T.G.I.F

It's my last Friday here.  And because its not my last day, I am not celebrating - yet.  52 Fridays later and I am still alive - WOW!  So I decided this morning when I was getting dressed, that what better way to show my excitement, than by dressing in a manner which I had decided to "save" while being an Intern.  Well, I look good (if I have to say so myself), what with my boss giving me the "dirty" eye.  Ha! (Flips braids back) I am not the little Intern, who didn't speak much, wore the ugly clothes and the only noise she made was her keyboard afterall!  She's surprised, I know it - What Mrs X, your daughter can't afford this dress or rather wouldn't dream of buying it? I know.  Fashion is not for the faint hearted and I am not saying she is.

Enough with the bitchiness.

I had blogger's block today I must admit.  I didn't know what on God's beautiful Earth I'd blog about, so I did what I do best these days - job hunt.  The pain of seeing a job that might match your qualifications/experience, only to find they pay a stipend and not a salary is horrific.  I mean really now, who wants to study and work and put together portfolios and go through hell everyday just so she can make enough to shop in shops that are filled with clothes, no aircon, smells of cheap plastic and when you have to pay - well you can imagine.  I put my foot down now, I want shoes with red-soles ala Louboutins.  Trust me I'm willing to work for them but I'm also willing to be PAID for that work.

So I'll probably be "jobless" until January (a colleague advised me of this again today *sadface*) but from then on its either you're with me or against ;).

One hour till lunchtime, drinks and snacks at 16h00, Thank God Its Friday.

So, tell us about yourself?

Seeing as my job these days is looking for a job, I bet you my blog title today will be the question I will have to answer more than five times.  It's one of the most difficult questions to answer because we all never really delve deep enough to find out who we are.  I mean while you're doing some "soul-searching" people are taking the job that should be yours, there's the side-walk sale in Sandton which is only productive if you go the first week and, well, life goes on.  This same life that we are all trying to make the most out of.  This year I had to try and make the most out of being an Intern, a student, a sister, a friend, an aunt and of course a girlfriend - my favourite role.  This was helluva difficult considering that each role has different demands from one person - somebody please pass me my Superman cape already - you try your utmost best to meet each demand to the best of you abilities.  Even typing that seems too much, imagine living it.  I know what people think "at least you didn't have to be a Mom as well.  At least you have a,b and c to keep you going."  At least nothing.  Reason I'm saying this is because people tend to think we all have a spare life somewhere which will come out when we've exhausted the one we're living now or will come and save the day and "at least" give rest to the other.  No sir! No turning back, no returning to highschool, no taking back those words, no reversing your Matric Dance and choosing a better dress, no waiting for the 75% sale to come again - it will, next season.

So no matter how trivial it seems to one person/people to juggle what I called my hectic life this year, for me it was hard (pulls out the chairs and tea-set for a pity party).  So when asked the question "So, tell us about yourself?" I will feel like dying because you had to be by my side to have a front-row view of who I really am.  But I will not, of course, answer my interviewer like that now will I?  Instead I hope my outfit firstly, says majority of the story, my CV backs it up, God lends a hand and the rest will be history, history because who will resist such a combo - a combo equivalent to a McDonald's Quarter Pounder Deluxe when you're slap-bang in the middle of a diet and you realise its not working and you're starving!

As usual I spend 2-3 hours everyday just job-hunting and today I got an email from a friend which read " It'll be hard for you to find something right now, but I will look out for you.  In the meantime, do not give up". My immediate reaction was shock and horror as I saw my bank refuse the financing of my Mini Cooper S 2007 model in Magnesium blue, as I saw myself never setting foot in Eastgate Mall again and as I saw myself wearing a head-scarf and pyjamas at 2 in the afternoon and sitting in the sun waiting for it to set.  Just the thought makes me want to throw up the croissant I had for breakfast - even that will be a "once upon a time" thing!

I know I will find a job, I know I will drive my Mini, I know I will have a wardrobe "to die for darling!" and I know that this time next year I will be writing about how me, the PR Intern, plans to furniture the house I will be buying the year after that.  How do I know? Well because I know everything - lol. I know because I am destined for higher places...

Let me prepare for my interviews now, and find a way of how I plan on telling people about myself.

Tis the season to be jollly

I waited with baited breath to attend the event I had helped organize, our end of year function.  And well because I had laid my glorious hands on the event I would say it was a success (Beyonce singing "Ego" in the background).  Not like the 2010 World Cup success but a mini, as well as a lunch can go success. Trust me I love attending events, being invited, inviting people etc, but I was peeved at organizing this because it was the event which would help me redeem myself.  Redeem myself? *rolls eyes* Really now!  You're probably lost, well let me start from scratch.  Not only did my Internship come with the agonizing pain of waking up at 04:45am every weekday but we had to provide proof in the end if this really happened - as if the eyebags are not enough! Anyway, we had to hand in a portfolio of evidence due at the end of October.  Well I gathered and collected all my stuff during October, wrote out all my reports and filed everything, by the week it was due I was ready to hand in.  But, because spanners are thrown into works, a huge spanner was thrown into mine.  I don't want to give the details of what I call the beginning of the worst 3 months of my life, but all I can say is that my portfolio is now due on the 5th January 2011 and I am only graduating in May.

So our company "get together" was what I needed to organize to redeem myself.  I helped in organizing it, I attended it yesterday (reason for not having time to blog) and now I have to incorporate it into my already done portfolio - I just start boiling at the thought of this.  Anyway, *deep breath* the highlight of my day was my outfit.  I went out, please note I did not say all out because "all" went out the window remember? I was the full representation of Bohemian Chic, I wore my perfume, I looked good and I felt better.  All of this because no one, absolutely no one can spoil the best time of the year for me ever since I was born 23 years ago.  Tis the season to be jolly and that - I become.  Technically, I should be at home at this time of the year planning vacations, sipping cocktails during the day and not feeling guilty, but instead I spend 8 hours in front of a computer doing nothing much except the occasional net surfing (you can take a girl out of FashionTV but you can never take the FashionTV out of her) and job hunting - looking for a place to firmly place my stylish feet (Beyonce continues singing "Ego").

I guess this will be my programme until I leave in 7 days, that and completing a complete portfolio all in the name of redemption - "Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but you can free our minds" - thanks Mr Bob Marley, wise words indeed.  I maybe a slave physically in that I am forced to sit here for 8 hours daily but mentally, forget it, no one can change/alter my dreams afterall they belong to me and are really truly known by me.

Now as I continue having mental images of the colour co-ordination in my closet...

I came, I saw...

I've decided to only blog weekdays as that's the only time I'm an Intern.  On weekends, well, I live.  There are nine days left before I leave my interning days behind and as much as I look forward to the future, I also look back and appreciate (yes I said it), I appreciate this year.  Firstly, the experience I gained here is like a deposit into my future and it's something that no one will take away from me. Secondly, after this experience nothing will shake me -  unless its a Balmain sale and I can't afford to buy myself at least a R3000 jacket.  I am ready to face the "big bad world" as our highschool teachers threatened us, not realizing its always been big and bad never small and good - smh! 

Seeing top career women on TV who hold powerful positions, juggle family life, go on beautiful vacations, hold together a conglomeration - all of this in their 6 inch Jimmy Choo's, is what motivates and irritates me a lot, how ironic but true.  I mean its ridiculous to hold my 2year old son, in my Gucci suit and Manolo Blahnik's for obvious reasons (stains on cashmere - not ideal) and also be a loving wife who cooks and cleans AND be the Communication Specialist in the Department of Arts & Culture (picture of me in 5yrs time) - I mean who does that except Alicia Keys in her "Superwoman" video?  But well, I also want to do it. That's why I opted for further education, not drop-out in my second year when I had 20 page assignments due every week and why I didn't leave my Internship after completing the required hours.  I was highly tempted to do all this trust me, but the "soldier" in me wouldn't allow it.  Seargent Vision is his name, and he just wouldn't dream of it.  He made me soldier on even after feeling ridiculed for being asked to scan this, print that. After being on the phone for hours persuading journalists to come to events they had absolutely no interest in attending, after distributing close to a 500 media releases, filling, answering telephones, attending industry conferences where I was lucky if they lasted 3 hours and, and. 

But here I am now, sitting at my desk, blogging about what I've labelled the saddest and happiest year of my life.  I'm actually tearing up now because I can't believe I sat it out.  Me, who wouldn't dream of not wearing perfume but didn't wear it the whole year (I did use deodarant and body spray, okay) and me who doesn't believe in hard labour and not enjoy life to show how much of a "hustler" I am and well, me, the young lady who does not sacrifice anything for her happiness.

I did all of this, and will do more to see myself in the position, the house, the cars and yes you thought right - the closet (angels singing) that I would like someday.  So this door is shut, another door is about to open.

I came, I saw, I'm leaving...




.

The road less travelled...

4 January 2010, I am super early for work and when I get there - there's no one. Great! My first day I'll be labelled the Intern who fell out of  bed to make it early to work, score brownie points with her boss and hopefully become permanent ( I wasn't thinkin this until now actually - lol).  Well its too late for me to go back home now, might as well stay and wait... patiently.  My boss arrives and we get right into it but there's a glitch.  "Lindi, we don't wear jeans at work, I prefer those formal-ish pants and jeans on a Friday".  I collapsed.  Well, I didn't literally collapse, but the enthusiasm in me went out the door from that day till today.  Okay, not wearing jeans is acceptable, but these aren't just any jeans - their Diesel, Diesel Premium, skinny fit, torn at the knees, they, they cost waaaay more than - okay, its fine - formal cheap pants it is and has always been!


Some people get to third year and realize that the 940hrs of Work Integrated Learning in a PR environment required, is too much and well they just opt for jobs elsewhere, make extra cash and study (eventually to their downfall come portfolio time) and so the Work Integrated Learning road is less travelled.  Well, silly me I walked it - to the horror of my Aldo pumps which never walked more than 2days per pair, but one pair suffered about a month non-stop on my feet (throws them in the rubbish bin) and I have been walking ever since, my road is ending in exactly 12 days including the weekends in between.

Gosh I have only just started blogging as an Intern, but my "interning" days are about to end.  Will I change my blog name to MemoirsOfAPR something or the other? No.  I may be done being an Intern here, but I'm going to be an Intern at Sandton City, Mandela Square, Michelangelo Towers, Menlyn Shopping Centre,V&A Waterfront, Gateway Mall - you name it - I will work there, work towards a dream closet.

Hi there this email is in response to a job posted on Jobmail, please find attached a copy of my CV and a cover letter stating how I walked 365 days to get here, gained experience, made friends with Google and most importantly how working for you will see the rebirth of legends - the D&G pants, the Escada blouses, the Nine West hand bags. Thanks for your consideration into my application and my Blackberry looks forward to ringing with a call from you.

Automatic: Out Of the Office reply

My Toywatch at work...

When I'm not distributing media releases, updating feature lists, liaising with journalists - I live.  I wear short skirts, I wear accessories, I smile, I drink, I laugh, I cry, I shop, I read fashion mags and I love. You see I have a relationship with fashion, a very good one to date even though sometimes she lets me down, when she comes across as something she is not - FADS!  So when you pop me a mail and you get the "Out of office" reply, know that I am somewhere thinking about fashion, looking at fashion, being fashionable or being with fashionable people.

All the scenes of the "good life" we see on shows such as Spin Crowd on the E! Channel and Style Intern are a far cry away from my life 5 days a week from 5am till 7pm.   But being the girl that I am, the two days I have spare - I make up for it and well because I can't resist, the Diesel loving devil in me pops out on Fridays and I can be caught wearing a sneaker, a watch, a top, jeans (okay maybe not all of those) but a little something to remind me of my younger sister's emaciated role-models who epitomize and are the epitome of style.  This is only when I feel naughty though, otherwise its a pair of Jeans, a replica jersey and because I can't fully compromise my love for shoes - a good pair of sneakers.

"I may wear black four years straight.." Jay-Z raps, "I may bring back Versace shades.." he continues.  Well I wore black one year straight and still long for Versace shades (I have Dolce & Gabanna ones though - lol) But this was as a result of temporarily mourning the fashionable part of me which influenced me every morning till 365 days ago.

Automatic: Out of Office reply - "Hi there I am out of the office till early next year, in the meantime I'll be dreaming about how to get my Loubotin rollerboy shoes, my Hermes Birkin bag, my Balmain leggings and my Zara T-shirt."  This will be the message you will find when you pop me a mail on the 15 December 2010.

Till then, my Toywatch says its 10:00 am, I have a media release to distribute...

You're hired...

I needed 940hrs of Work Intergrated Learning in order to graduate and become a fully-fledged PR Executive.  It sounded insane about 365 days ago when I was a second-year student who knew nothing about the workplace except what I would wear to the office.  But intelligence coupled with street-smart and my unspoken ability to sell snow to snow men (clears throat), got me a job, a place where I could realise half of  my goals for 2010. 

It might be said that I am too late to start writing about being a PR Intern in South Africa when I only have 14 days of it left but my love for writing always gets the better of me.  Yes, I said it, I have 14days left in what I don't want to call a rollercoaster because that has its ups and downs but rather a spiral (whether it goes up or down, you the reader will decide).  So I have put pen to paper, no, I mean fingers to keyboard to give an insight into mine and my fellow classmates journey, which even though most of it has ended - is just beginning.

You're hired. The words I have come to love but hate. 

Bear with me as I entertain, relate, clarify and inform you about how it feels to be fashion forward, intelligent, outgoing, outspoken, competent, egotistical AND an Intern, all of this in one person, just didn't gel.